A Reflection On the Difference Between Happiness Creation and Celebration
Last modified 1 month, 3 weeks ago.
(Dedicated to the teachers and coaches I've learned from, including Dr. Michael Pariser, Dr. Robert Glover, and Dr. Glenn Livingston. There are more than I can name in this short essay.)
Recently, I have been giving happiness and wellness more of their just due.
I’ve put in a few years on this planet, so, I guess, it’s about time.
I do not believe happiness can be pursued, but must ensue, as Dr. Viktor Frankl explained in his most-famous work, Man’s Search For Meaning.
Happiness is a byproduct. When we are living with meaning, happiness can install itself in our lives as a side effect, Frankl explained. Perhaps this is part of what the ancient Greeks, like Aristotle, meant by eudamonia, “the condition of human flourishing or living well” (Encyclopedia Britannica).
Finding Happiness
Borrowing from Nassim Taleb, I cannot tell you how to live, but I will tell you what works best and makes the most sense to me so far.
I define happiness as a sense of wellness, contentment, and balanced energy. I can’t tell you what that is, but with enough trial and error, we can perceive when we are (or are not) in this psychic space.
How do we get there?
I believe that if we are honest with ourselves, living earnestly and with heart, we will come to learn what makes us unhappy. (Nassim Taleb describes this as the “negative way.”)
That leads to what I call happiness creation.
Happiness Creation Versus Happiness Celebration
In my opinion, the happiness we foster within ourselves is happiness creation. This is the wellness we create through shelter, proper nourishment and hydration, pursuing a meaningful life, intermittent difficult exercise and physical exertion, study and reflection, and yes, not doing things that make us unhappy. You may add or takeaway from that list as you like. The source of this happiness is far more internal than external.
Now, to me, happiness celebration, is far more external than internal, as well as secondary to happiness creation. For example, it’s the fun we have with our material possessions. It includes things like, financial abundance, personal relationships, exploring novel environments, and leisure activities. IMHO, these are all things we do or have that celebrate, and even elevate, the wellness and joy we have fostered within.
Without creation, it is very hard to have cause for celebration. We see examples anywhere and everywhere of the poor results of making celebration primary. It’s the person who goes to a nice restaurant, doesn’t enjoy it much, and finds any reason to be upset about the food or the service. It’s the man who has “conquered” plenty of women, in his estimation, but doesn’t strike others as particularly content, anyway. The list goes on.
But really, it's anytime we finally obtain or experience something external to us, and it fails to revolutionize our lives (and happiness) the way we thought it would.
It results in aching disappointment and frustration.
As Frankl stated, the pleasure principle is indeed a fun spoiler.
Now, I realize more profoundly, that it starts with me. Then and only then, will I be able to enjoy even more the blessings that are external to me.
That’s how I try to live a meaningful, happy life.